itschaptertwo's Journal

12:02am: Where did I go wrong

Starting to feel that I know myself lesser and lesser, sometimes I can't even bother to stop and think what exactly am I doing. 
Been speaking without thinking too much these days, and I have no idea why. Don't wanna blame it on things like stress or lack of capacity for tolerance.

Maybe I need a break. A break from the world. Just shut myself up at home, shut myself away from the social world, and reflect. 
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Stop feeling that you are a loner in this entire world. I tried being there for you, but you seem to have placed a barricade between me and you. I am starting to find it hard to tell you things anymore. 

Tell me, how significant am I in your life?

10:11pm: Day One of Year Two

 Yup,today's the first day of school for the new academic year.

And there's only one word to sum up the whole day : SIAN 

First day of school already got 2 projects on hand already. Plus the lectures I attended today are really really boring. Especially BINSAN - Basic Instrumental Analysis. The lecturer tried to gave us some life lessons, which i think backfired. Apparently nobody was listening, and when I checked Twitter, the class was tweeting about his craps! I know it's bad to say this, but I think he need to articulate his words properly. For example , Finger lickin' good, not Finger linkin' good, and it's Error, not Arrow, and lastly, we say ' You sucks' , not ' Your sucks ' .  Yup , and he carried on until he forgot to tell us something important about practical! 

After BINSAN was worst! I think. Had to attend a business module - Retail communications. 2 hours of practical plus an hour of tutorial. Sat on the STOOL and kinda fell asleep when the lecturer was speaking, and I almost lean back! I don't know why, but I don't seem to like this module [yet] . Cuz' we are suppose to learn how to display products in window displays , shelves and mannequins. :/ 

Was damn happy when the lesson ended, cuz' that means I can go clubhouse to lepak with the campers and GLs! But when I was only outside the sports hall, I already see an army of people in green and yellow shirts walking away from the clubhouse :(( Everyone were about to go home when I haven't even arrive ! Was damn sad. 

The only happy part of the day was whenever I meet any GLs in the campus! :D Even for that mere second , or that few minutes. It felt soooooo good! :) 

 

THE END

3:09pm: Withdrawal Symptoms!
 It's the 2nd day since FO Camp is over!

Woke up , and the first thing I thought of was ' awww man , it's over . :( '

It's a mixed feeling kinda thing. So sad because, all the GL have been training for 3 weeks + , we see each other more than we see our family members. Bond together like nobody's business, like sisters and brothers. We've gone through the thick and thins, and now we are all stronger and better, so different from who we are when we first met one another. So close that we dare to fart right infront of each other, or request to shit together. And of course, so glad it's over, because we can finally catch some sleep!

I feel a teeny weeny bit of regretfulness though. Maybe I could be more enthusiastic, maybe I could have done more to make my kids hyped up.Maybe I could have shown more care and concern to my partner. Maybe there's so much more I could've done.. But still, I'm happy that all of them felt that the camp was awesome, and they missed it (: And what's done is done, no point dwelling over the past ya. All I need to do now, is learn how to put down the feud I have in me , I guess..

Sentosa outing with CLS next week ! Can't wait, seriously, can't wait! Can't wait to meet my fellow GLs, and my kids. :D May we have an awesome time at there!


I'm a CLS Camper! I've made good friends beside me! I've made forever friendship in my camp!

Thanks for the memories tooo!

(:

9:31pm: I LOVE MY GLS!

 *bounce bounce bounce * 

 

I'm feeling all excited and anticipating for tomorrow's GL training already! You have no idea how bonded we are, I see them more than how much I see my family members each day. So close as if we are really biological sisters and brothers now! 

 

I know it sounds very exaggerating to you, but if you are one of us, you would definitely feel this way. I miss all of them! 

 

I thought I could say so much more, but my vocabulary is way too limited! Plus the love for them is way beyond what words could say. Hence, I shall just end it here today! 

12:37am:

谢谢你送给我的那段话 ，让我留下好深刻的影响。　

Just wondering how much you know about me.
It hits me so hard whenever you say such things to me, you think you are always right?
You never knew what I'm always doing, especially school stuff.
I tried sharing with you what I feel, but I don't think you got the message I'm trying to bring across to you. Worst still, you rarely allow me to complete what I want to say. Your attention span to me is so short, really, so short. My conversation with you always get interrupted, and my words are always left unsaid.Sometimes I tried sharing to you what happened all day, and I gave up half way, because I felt that there's no point in telling you how I feel when you don't even bother to give me a respond.

Thanks for asking me to go away.

2:49pm: Sometimes I get confused whether I'm just lazy or really tired.

1:52pm: Hello.

I'm in the school library now. Just woke up from my table nap. It's so boring here, because our work is boring, and the worst part of all; No pretty girls or handsome guys is here for me to observe .

Gahh/


With some love,

Me

1:40pm: Things to Do in Twenty Eleven
In 2011,

I want to have picnic with friends at Marina Barrage.

I want to get a higher GPA.

I want to bake more cookies/cakes.

I want to do better in everything I can.

I want to be less lazy.

I want to be more disciplined.

I want to be a better person.


This is not my new year resolution. These are things that I've been wanting to do, but I didn't really pay much attention to it in the past. So, this year, I'll do them. :D 

4:22am: Final day of 2010! With love messages included. Hurry and grab your chance now!

Good morning! It's the thirty-first of December, twenty ten! It's time I reflect upon what I've done this year.

I think my 2010 has been much of a wave; may ups and downs. It started off with work, my job at PBJ made me gain alot and lose alot. I gained much experience and learned the nature of human, and of course, I lost my whole holiday to it. I worked almost 6 days per week, until school really started. pathetic.
FO Camp was one of the greatest memory that was etched in my mind. What a blast! I went to SP with a shy heart, and became so open to strangers in merely 3 days. Made so many ,so many friends, and gain love from them. Really, it was one of the awesomest. And of course, after the camp, school officially started. My life starts with a new environment and a new circle of people. Never once did I regret choosing SP as my school, because I made so many great friends and lecturers! Life was such fun ,despite heavy school work, which didn't really matter much.
 

Still can't remember how I managed to clique with the girls. We just talk and eat together everyday, until we became what we are now. Eeeeps! Miss the girls now you know! Looking forward to the start of school, not because of work obviously. I miss the girls! I want dedicate personal message to people around me, despite knowing the fact that this blog is kinda secluded. Oh well...


JunYi Chong,

Ha! I don't know why, but your name appear first in my mind when I thought of writing a message to all of you. I veh happy to have you as my friend/ classmate, because you are somebody that is related to my hobby - Bullying. You inspire me to bully you everyday regardless of rain or shine. Sometimes I very angry you, b'cuz you keep forgetting things, but I can't put myself to scold you because you too cute already. Izt I say all these your hair stand? You think I care? hahaha. Continue to remain as a gummy bear okay? And stop scaring so many guys in schooooool!!  I lurbb you , AiAi.

Hannah Hamsani

Hello Purdy Peach! You are someone that is hard to forget, because of all your purdy jokes. I like you because you like to imitate maids. I don't know whether izt my fault for showing you the Vicky video, but I think it's a good thing that I've allowed you to showcase your talent. I hope that you would work hard to sleep early and wake up early. Stop skipping P.Gan's and JoChan's class. Let's work hard for everything together, and go home together for the nxt 2 years, don't make me a loner.

With love, Birdy Bitch,

MingJiaooooo,

You are that girl that sat beside me on the first day of school in Auditorium! Heehee. I veh happy to know you , girl~ I'm sorry that I always talk a lot to you, but you always got listen. And I'm also sorry for scaring you [and JunYi] every time you all try to wake me up in class, I give you all the unintentional stare. Please don't feel terrorize in future, if I happen to stare at you in that manner again. I hope we will work well together in future, and look forward in meeting you when term resumes. :P

JessicaSharpWanMyers,

I saw you at town yesterday! I felt shock for shouting your name so loud. LOL. Haha, you this angmoh, I scared of you when I first saw you , you know. But I realized you are so nice, and I know we have a common hobby- bullying Jun Yi, and sometimes Hannah. Love going home with you , cuz we can talk rubbish a lot! It's funny how you try to show the white part of your eyes, it's unforgettable ! HEEHEE

 

Drella~

Yoohoo! The first thing I remember bout you, is your sweet sweet smell! Second, your infinite love for J-rockers. hahaha. I remember the first time I talked to you was in Tampines One, during Flag Day. Haiyo, we kind of got con by that WZ's nonsense. ~.~ Yayyyy~ Let's meet next year! 咱们加油　for GPA High High High! okay?? And!  Hope you liked the Simpson weekly planner that you've received during the exchange! 

Krystal~ 

Hello Fooshien, you bought 3 donuts and ate them while complaining it's sinful. I think you funny. Thanks for being there to listen/look to/at my problems every time I go find you. You are nothing, but a lovely friend to me :D Izt I sound too sweet , you cannot take it ? Haha,who cares! Can't believe I was in the same class as you for 4 years, time really flies, and we did managed to get out of that bloody place - School. Please stop being scared to web-cam with me in future. Unglamness should be shared among friends. <3

Farzana~ 

Hey, remember the last time we met? It was yesterday. I was surprised you finished your food faster than me when we were at Taka. haha. I feel that we should co-oporate more with each other more in future, so as to keep bullying fooshien. Oh yes, and stop virtually match-make me with your friend okay! If I find out that you do that again , you shall bear the consequence all on your own. Hope your life in TP is as insane as you. hahaha. Shall offer you a tour in SP someday. Hope you will give me your trust ( not like fooshien lykdat.) , and enjoy the tour around the school ^^

JavenHeng~

Pengyou, have you finished your biscuits? It's really nicer to eat when it's lau hong. It's nice to know that our friendship is still continuing despite being in different schools. Missed the times when we studied at Mac with Mak/Soh. I have already kindly thought of a New Year resolution for you; Stop growing upwards, Start growing side ways. I hope you put that red underwear to good use. Always remember, Vodka never taste good with peach tea. eewks. See you soon! To claim my cushion. Hiak! 

MichelleMak~ 

FengZhi, how's the biscuits? The icing is erxing right? haha. Do you know ? I actually watch you grow up? Hahaha. Aigoo, I miss Mervyn! And the Up boy. All not there already, I veh sad. I also miss studying with you at Mac , and catching up with you at Blic! Let's meet soon okeh!! =D 

1:54pm: What if one day I left without a word,

Would you ever notice my absence ?



What if one day I stop contacting you,

Would you bother to text or call me ? 


Is my presence significant in your life? 

7:14pm: Heart wrenched

Good day folks! 

Ahh, my emotion has just been put down by the old WGM ! Okay, so for the past 2 weeks, I was lazing around, watching WGM. Heard of Lettuce Couple ? Yep, I was very interested with them! And sadly, I just finished the last episode from that couple. I cried a total of 4 white paper wantons. Eeps, I need to get over it soon and start rushing my work. It's the beginning of the last week of holidays already! :(

Anyway, before I forgot,

Happy Belated Christmas! =D How was your Christmas? I think mine's pretty good. haha, just like the past few years, spending the eve of Christmas at my aunt's house. I'm starting to cherish such festivals more and more, 'cuz that's the only time where I could meet almost every of my maternal cousins. We used to see one another on a weekly basis, but, y'know , we grow up and apart. Hence, now we only meet each other on an average of twice per year. Plus, new generation of kids are coming. 3 little children already! They are all so cute, and irresistible! :P I would love to show you how they look like! But, I don't have any.. Heh, sorry~ 

Had such a great feast with the fam this afternoon at Cafe Cartel, Tampines Mall. It was an celebration in advance for Sis' birthday. The serving was really huge. I felt sorry for not finishing my food :( They had a circuit breakdown in the middle of our meals. And the waitress immediately came to offer us more plain water. Oh yes, don't you get annoyed when the waiter speaks at a breakneck speed? I couldn't make out what he was saying. I see no point in speaking at such speed, cuz' you end up making yourself repeat the sentence. Gahhh.

It's late! Dinner time! 

11:43pm: Essay
Wasted the whole of my first week of vacation heartily. I led a aimless life, but i enjoyed it though. Um, so do you consider this a meaningful life or what? Since i enjoyed it lifelessly.

Oh man. The starting of the second week of vacation seems somewhat miserable! Gotta start on Lab Report, IDEA proj. and CRS essay. Just the thought of doing it, disgust me, literally. And just like what other kids do, I complain and procrastinate a zillion times, but I'll end up doing it. See, sometimes we do pointless things.

Went to the groceries with Sis this morning (to afternoon), to get some baking needs. She's one of the best person you can ever bring to groceries. And I have no idea why I tend to blabber every single time I'm out with her. We spent about 30 mins plus or so in TM's NTUC , and ended up only getting 2 things. And we got Brother Bear his 125mL Davidoff Coolwater! YAY. Y'know, every time he asks me to lend him mine, my heart kinda skip a beat. It's my favorite perfume! despite being a masculine fragrance. :P Continued our hunting at T1's Cold Storage instead, and we finally got whatever we needed. Sis was so excited when she saw packs of crustaceans, and they were freakin' cheap. I mean, really cheap! Like 90 cents to 1 dollar  for a box of mussels ? And we decided to buy one of those, despite knowing the fact that mom might scream the momment she saw it. But who cares! Once we bring it home, she can't stop us from cooking it right ? I felt downright brave and genius for encouraging my sis.

Like essay lykdat.

Tuesday, this coming one, gonna bake with Mic and Jav. Hope our cookies turn out fine and pretty! Cookie cutters and icing! Perfect for Christmas ? 

12:12am: Hey! Vacation Week has officially start! 

I'll make good use of this break to get a good good rest, study and brush up on my korean! You can say it's boring, but I bet it's gonna be productive. :) I wanna start reading Harry Potter books already, but the library doesn't seem to have any left, and I don't wanna get them from the rental bookstore. I'm at the poorest point of my life now.

Caught Rapunzel with the girls yesterday, the movie was awesome! Wasn't any interested when I saw the trailer, but just went to watch since the girls wanted to. Haha, nothing to regret! It's really hilarious and touching. I rate it 4.68 Popcorns! 

Very sleepeh now. Shall go to bed soooon! ( I think)




Christmas is coming! Are you excited ? 

1:18am: I need to learn how to self-discipline more.

I need to learn how to manage my time well.

I need to learn how to control myself.

I need to learn how to be independent.

I need to learn how to live without Facebook and Twitter.

There's many things to learn.

I'm in a mess now.

I'm off track already.

I need help.

11:25pm: Breathless and Insanity

2 more weeks to MST. 1 more week to submission of report.

 

FIGHTING! 

When I was bathing just now, I smiled. 'Cuz I felt so grateful for being able to have amazing friends! <3 REALLY! 
Was I a nun or a monk in my previous life? That's why I was awarded with such cute friends? haha

Btw, have you guys caught Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows ,Part I ? I did! And I still can't get over it. Probably gonna read all the books when I'm done with my lab report. And of course!  After HP7, Part II is shown, I'm so gonna rent the entire saga and watch it ! HARRYPOTTERMARATHON! WOOHOO! 

What is your favorite food?

12:45am: Simple Vs.Real

Anyone can stand by you when you are right, but a Friend will stand by you even when you are wrong...

A simple friend identifies himself when he calls. A real friend doesn't have to.

A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.

A real friend says, "What's new with you?"

A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.

A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."

A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears. 

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

 A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you with your problems

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.

A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.

 A simple friend expects you to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you!

http://www.indianchild.com/best_friend_poems.htm




I find this meaningful and i like it (:

1:40am: Hungry very.
Wow, it's been almost a month since I've last blogged.

Life's been pretty much .. i guess,boring ? I've still yet to find a purpose in my life, honestly speaking. All I know is to work hard, but work hard for what ? Maybe just to catch up the intelligence i lack off ? 


Bahhh. This isn't gonna be an emotional post. Hah, well , let's move on.

I went to catch The Social Network yesterday. It was a pretty nice show i should say, how 3 people could actually act out the life of other 3 people. Thanks to them ,we have the amazing FB to find our long lost friends. And still, thanks to them again, we've wasted so much time from our precious life on FB -.- Next show i'm so gonna catch, is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I . Seriously can't wait to watch that movie!  I intend to re-watch the whole saga of HP , right from the socerer's stone till Deathly Hallows Part II. I guess it's gonna be insane!

Hey, i'm stuck.

Actually, my purpose of blogging today, is not to update on my life. :/
I just wanted to sort out what's bugging me recently. But somehow i ended up writing about my life instead >.>









Now, it's all about you.
What exactly are you to me? And what exactly am I to you ? Do you find it confusing? 
Many a times, you appear in my mind. I could  just go to the grocery store, and just wonder, ' hey, do you use this? ' .Or maybe, just walk into a toy store , and start thinking ' Hey, do you play with such things? ' You see, you just keep appearing in my mind, and I am sure you are not suppose to be there. But, I still don't know what I should do. What if this goes on for the next 10 years ? :O 

7:52pm:

>.>

I really hate it when I'm speaking halfway, and someone just comes in to interrupt. I always never get to finish what I wanna say. It's always been like this, so frustrating.

1:37am: Food
Ooh, so quick! A brand new week has begun.

Alright, I finally felt that I had done something meaningful during this holiday. Made Tiramisu and Warm Pasta Salad with Michelle last Thursday. Both were quite a success, but I guess the Tiramisu could have been better. But nevertheless, it was still yummy for both, and it's my first time making both of those ! The cream filling of the Tiramisu came out runny,hence soaking the base layer of the lady fingers.I guess it could be caused by the egg white, which wasn't beaten fluffy enough. Otherwise,it would be a total success for that. But still, it tasted goood! On the other hand, the warm pasta salad wasn't warm when we finally completed the whole thing. Haha, should have cooked the other ingredients before cooking the pasta. We made it in large scale, hence quite alot was left. It lasted me for another 2 days,but I didn't bother to heat it up 'cause it could be consumed cold ! And i liked it.
 

Here's a picture of the pasta salad : 

Really loved the colour! 

The ingredients were Cheese, Hot dog, spring onions, and crab sticks.(Spread the bread with some butter first) I also added a sprinkle of grounded black pepper and parsley flakes to make it look more appetizing, for myself! This was inspired by a show i watched, where the wife made this for her husband, but she used green capsicum instead. Couldn't find any capsicum in my fridge , hence substituted it with spring onions. Tasted and smell good :D 


Weee~ 
 

2:40am: Like it's my birthday

Right , as seen on Twitter

"Okie! So far only 4 things listed onto my Birthday/Christmas Wish list! HEEHEE" 

 

Most prolly getting all the stuff i listed ,on my own! Teehee , it's a thrill you see. It serves like a 'To-do-list' ,just that it takes a longer time  to be fulfilled. Most of them requires money! And to get money, i need hard work and commitment.

Bottom Line : Re-discovering my own ability to get what i want.  :))

Tada! I earned 22K NP today! ha ha, satisfaction.

1:14am:

Yo! I just exercised my butt and tummy. Happy thing.

Did I mention ? I'm holiday-ing now, at home. It's a good thing, 'cuz I don't get to spend any money. But it's quite a chore to think what I should do everyday to keep my life meaningful. So far, I've been watching Korean dramas and Avatar online. Oh oh! And started playing Neopets again. Haha, eh, it's funner than FB okay. Are all these meaningful activities ? 

Oh yesssss! This afternoon bro came home an envelope that contains the goodies i bought online! Was so excited to receive it after knowing that the person has mailed out my order. 

Tada! O.P.I Nail polish! 
I got it at very cheap price! 3 for $30 . It's really really cheap thrill!  Was so elated the moment i got it, just ripped the package apart and started to paint my nails ! Haha. But have to remove 'em on Sunday :( 'cuz i can't wear them to work.

Exam results would be released on 4th October. I. AM. VERY . SCARED.  :O

 

11:38pm:

Okay.

Chuday, I went to tour Orchard Road! Outside Sephora, there's this very tall hot guy giving out Gucci ribbons which has the scent of their perfume. I beri beri harpee b'cuz he gave me an extra Hershey Kiss Chocolate! HEHEH.

I like pwetty gals and hot guys. Dont' cha like 'em too ? :D 

 

10:51pm: How should think about myself when I studied hard for it yet I couldn't delivery it well enough ?

1:02pm: Take a break. Move on further.
Uhh yes, I can study pretty well if I'm home alone, but it gets boring after a while. Just feel..too lonely! :(

I had dreamed of something amusing this morning. My best guy friend got married. HAHA :O I think it's funny, 17 only. But have you all wondered how everyone of us would be like 10 years later? Maybe by then ,Bro is married, which means i would have a real sister-in-law already.


My first paper is on Thursday! And i believe many of my friends are already sitting for their last paper already, maybe some already finish everything. Okay, but this isn't a sad thing to ponder over. Think on the bright side, I've got much more time to prepare! :) 

Met up with the girls in school yesterday to study. But apparently, it failed. We talked too much... But , it's fun! :D 

1:00am: Hi there!

I don't have much intentions to sleep early tonight.
Gonna stay at home again, to study again, later.

Caught Step Up 3 yesterday. The show is awesome! Just don't understand why Gerrald doesn't like it. Weird.

I like Mooooose in that movie, he looks.   Pretty! And the invention of those LEDs ? Way too awesome! I couldn't fall asleep immediately yesterday night, 'cuz my mind was filled with many parts of the film. It's like every time i shut my eyes, a part of the movie would pop in my mind. Feels like going back to dance after watching the show, too much impact on me. But i have no idea where to begin from.

Exam's next week! Grr.

 

Note to you:

I may appear to be oblivious, but to let you know the truth, I'll always be there for you.
Share with me your problems, I'll be more than willing to hear it, or if you want,i could lend you my fat shoulder.  :)